Morning's at Noon

When the wind blows

The TV weatherman calls it "severe weather."

You could say that. Tornado watches, warnings and thunderstorms move through northwestern Oklahoma and up into Kansas. The crawl at the top of the screen reads, "These storms are carrying heavy winds, rain and hail ... "

Recently my cousin Banks sent me a story called "Can You Sleep When The Wind Blows?" It's a lovely story with "Peace in the Valley" as background music.

The story is by Arthur Maxell, who wrote Uncle Arthur's Bedtime Stories between 1924 and 1970. This story begins:

Years ago, a farmer owned land along the Atlantic seacoast.
He constantly advertised for hired hands. Most people were
reluctant to work on farms along the Atlantic. They dreaded the awful storms that raged across the Atlantic, wreaking havoc on the buildings and crops.

As the farmer interviewed applicants for the job, he received a steady stream of refusals. Finally, a short, thin man, well past middle age, approached the farmer.

"Are you a good farm hand?" the farmer asked him.

"Well, I can sleep when the wind blows," answered the little man.

To read the rest, go to:

http://tinyurl.com/pkafj

A little shimmy music, please ...

Oh ... if I could shimmy like my sister Kate ...

Here's something that puts a smile on my kisser. Browsing through YouTube I came across "If I Could Shimmy Like My Sister Kate" by pianist Evan Palazzo. I have Windows Media and Real Player so I downloaded it to my computer. It's like watching it live on a small TV screen.

Where has this guy Evan Palazzo been? Well ... he's been playing piano on the east coast. He has a jazz band called The Hot Sardines. They're a complete entertainment package -- lady singer, tap dancer, everything it seems except a fire eater and a sword swallower. During their video of "Your Feet’s Too Big" the lady singer had a washboard strapped to her chest. They must be a whole lotta fun in person.

But I love Palazzo's piano solos. "If I Could Shimmy Like My Sister Kate" is in my RealPlayer library so I watch it every time I get tired of whatever else I'm doing.

Heck, Fred Astaire danced with a cane so yesterday I grabbed my own trusty cane and did a little dance around the room while Palazzo tickled the ivories. A little dancing did wonders for my attitude, which is pretty glum in this crappy weather.

Check out the piano player at

http://tinyurl.com/47vst5

Hotsy-totsy. If I could shimmy like my sister Kate I'd take my act on the road.

Just call me Freda Astaire Browning ….

Snick snick snick

Sound of hail hitting the windows. Thunder, lightning, pouring rain, Will Rogers Airport reports wind gust of 74 mph at 12:31. Hope you're not trying to fly in.

Storm line moving right on through, but 3,000 people without power in Yukon, 4,000 in OKC. The weather guys are talking about possible hail sizes -- pea, quarter, pingpong ball, golf ball -- just another severe weather episode here on the cross timbers.

Ka-choo from the cross timbers

The Old Chisholm Trail is about half a block up the street from me. It runs north and south right through Oklahoma's middle, mostly alongside Highway 81.

Old Route 66 is just across the way, running east and west through Oklahoma, mostly alongside its replacement, Interstate 40.

So historic. So picturesque. So romantic.

Now I learn that the Oklahoma City metro area sits on the cross-timbers. According to an article in the Oklahoman, Oklahoma City is No. 11 on the U.S. list of 100 "most challenging" places to live with allergies. Allergist Dr. Warren V. Filley is quoted as saying:

"This is where the Eastern woodlands meet the prairie. So we have the worst of two worlds for pollen. Add to that the wind and you have a mix for lots of allergy problems."

Do tell.

Symptoms include itching, sneezing fits, runny nose, sore throat, fatigue and insomnia.

And all this time I thought it was just old age.

HEY bop a re bop

Hot rod alert! The only thing draggin’ these days may be your fanny, but if you remember the ‘50s and ‘60s this ought to start your engine.

Thanks to my friend Kaye Barley for sending this link to the cars we drove and the music on the radio. Turn up your sound and go to:

http://tinyurl.com/ynjvqz

Fall down laughing

Wendy Bartlett, my friend in Ohio, just sent me these tidbits from the old Hollywood Squares TV program. Those were the days when showbiz regulars just showed up and let 'er rip. I needed a good belly laugh and this did it for me.
****
HOLLYWOOD SQUARES:
Peter Marshall was the host asking the questions.

Q. Do female frogs croak?
A. Paul Lynde: If you hold their little heads under water long enough.

Q If you're going to make a parachute jump, at least how high should you be?
A. Charley Weaver: Three days of steady drinking should do it.

Q. True or False, a pea can last as long as 5,000 years.
A. George Gobel: Boy, it sure seems that way sometimes.

Q. You've been having trouble going to sleep. Are you probably a man or a woman?
A. Don Knotts: That's what's been keeping me awake.

Q. According to Cosmopolitan, if you meet a stranger at a party and you think that he is attractive, is it okay to come out and ask him if he's married?
A. Rose Marie: No, wait until morning .

Q. Which of your five senses tends to diminish as you get older?
A. Charley Weaver: My sense of decency.

Q. In Hawaiian, does it take more than three words to say 'I Love You'?
A. Vincent Price: No, you can say it with a pineapple and a twenty.

Q. What are 'Do It,' 'I Can Help,' and 'I Can't Get Enough'?
A. George Gobel: I don't know, but it's coming from the next apartment.

Q. As you grow older, do you tend to gesture more or less with your hands while talking?
A. Rose Marie: You ask me one more growing old question, Peter, and I'll give you a gesture you'll never forget!

Q. Paul, why do Hell's Angels wear leather?
A. Paul Lynde: Because chiffon wrinkles too easily.

Q. Charley, you've just decided to grow strawberries. Are you going to get any during the first year?
A. Charley Weaver: Of course not, I'm too busy growing strawberries.

Q. In bowling, what's a perfect score?
A. Rose Marie: Ralph, the pin boy.

Q. It is considered in bad taste to discuss two subjects at nudist camps. One is politics, what is the other?
A. Paul Lynde: Tape measures.

Q. During a tornado, are you safer in the bedroom or in the closet?
A. Rose Marie: Unfortunately, Peter, I'm always safe in the bedroom.

Q. Can boys join the Camp Fire Girls?
A. Marty Allen: Only after lights out.

Q. When you pat a dog on its head he will wag his tail. What will a goose do?
A. Paul Lynde: Make him bark?

Q. If you were pregnant for two years, what would you give birth to?
A. Paul Lynde: Whatever it is, it would never be afraid of the dark.

Q. According to Ann Landers, is there anything wrong with getting into the habit of kissing a lot of people?
A. Charley Weaver: It got me out of the army.

Q. It is the most abused and neglected part of your body, what is it?
A. Paul Lynde: Mine may be abused, but it certainly isn't neglected.

Q. Back in the old days, when Great Grandpa put horseradish on his head, what was he trying to do ?
A. George Gobel: Get it in his mouth.

Q. Who stays pregnant for a longer period of time, your wife or your elephant?
A. Paul Lynde: Who told you about my elephant?

Q. When a couple have a baby, who is responsible for its sex?
A. Charley Weaver: I'll lend him the car, the rest is up to him.

Q. Jackie Gleason recently revealed that he firmly believes in them and has actually seen them on at least two occasions. What are they?
A. Charley Weaver: His feet.

Q. According to Ann Landers, what are two things you should never do in bed?
A. Paul Lynde: Point and laugh.